And now, crappy gambling picks...

Gambler’s Guide to the NFL- Week 12
(Home Team in Caps)

Favorite Spread Underdog
Indianapolis -7.5 DETROIT
The Pick- Colts, 30-17.
The Lions hit the field fired up for their annual Thanksgiving game. 7.5 is a big spread for a home underdog. So I’m going with the Li…wait a minute, what’s that? Joey Harrington is still their starting quarterback? He’d look shitty playing whiffle against Jack Daniels assholes. And who’s starting for the Ponies? Oh yeah. Edward James Manning.

DALLAS -3.5 Chicago
The Pick- Bears, 20-16.
Not sure what to think about this game. Michigan/Ohio State quarterbacks facing off. David Terrell hot-dogging after both of his 4-yard catches. Hmm. C-Train enjoys his breakout game. Somewhere in Philly, a black dude mutters, “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.”

KANSAS CITY -3.5 San Diego
The Pick- Chargers, 37-34.
Please allow me to thank the KC defense in advance for letting Antonio Gates single-handedly give Coach Ford’s fantasy team the pipe this week. Mark him down for 3 scores. And me down for some serious taunting on my way to the fantasy playoffs.

SAN FRANCISCO -1.5 Miami
The Pick- Miami, 3-3.
Dennis Erickson vs. Jim Bates is not exactly Walsh v. Shula. I’m still waiting for the Fish to break out some all-orange unis.

MINNESOTA -6.5 Jacksonville
The Pick- Vikes, 20-13.
I hate the goddamned Vikings. We’re getting succinct now because I’m running on fumes here.

NEW ENGLAND -6.5 Baltimore
The Pick- Ravens, 24-27.
Paul: Look at this here. Now watch this. Just. Watch this. Ray Lewis is..(giggling) I mean. He’s just out there having fun.
Joe: Ray and I had dinner at Cracker Barrel the other night, and he told me that his posse would gut me if I didn’t..
Paul: Look at this. Now. WATCH THIS (giggling)….

More to come on Friday...