Mid-Round Blues

My world is spinning worse than Aaron Rodgers', as I put away two big brats, but stumbled on the Kerr-esque third when it was a bit pink in the middle and I convinced myself that I was being poisoned. I am happy to report, however, that there were no veins in this sausage either, Mindy.

We've officially entered "who gives a fuck?" territory on Draft Day, when the top 10 is done, the Chiefs are picking linebackers who can't tackle, Sam Mills gets some quality face time, and Mike Tice gets ready for another boner in about 25 minutes. Hey, Mike, here's a tip from a Madden expert: PICK SOME FUCKING DEFENSE.

As for me, I'm officially greased off Rossi, I'm not wearing underwear since I can't find it from last night, and I'm jonesing for my Bears to pick up an offensive lineman or linebacker early in Round 2. I'm thinking of that badass center from Ole Miss, as any man who's had Eli's paws under his dumper more than 2x in his life deserves to be a Bear most, um, deservedly.

Sweet. Mel Kiper getting yelled at by a guy who just picked Trev Alberts in the Top 5 and who is cradling a huge glass of gin.